How To Kill A Plant
by showtunediva
Summary: Collab effort between myself & Star's Snowflake. Me-even chapter SS-Odd chapters We do not own the rights to any LSOH Characters Enjoy
1. Cat's Out Of The Bag

**Cat's Out of the Bag**

"Just knock."

"-Knock?"

That simple answer was all it took. The old man looked at the boy as if he were a lunatic for putting money inside the plant and that now he had to go retrieve it, but followed through anyway. He was about to climb unknowingly into a man-eating plant to his certain death.

As the great green maw opened up, the boy cringed and shivered with the thought that another death was about to happen. More blood would be on his hands, but even more precious blood than the last murder (was it a murder?), had been. Mr. Mushnik was more than a boss to him. As he shut his eyes tight, memories played in his mind…

_Skid Row had always been a bad part of town. There had always been a lot of crime, and the drop out rate for school was relatively high. There were also many homeless and those who had their substance vices. Many in the Skid Row Home for Boys came from those types of families with little hope in their lives to begin with._

_Unlike his fellow orphanage mates, Seymour Krelborn had been abandoned at birth and had no knowledge of the reasons behind why he was left in the home, or even who his parents were. It was quite an unfortunate circumstance. Seymour constantly prayed for a better life… even more so than his friends who had knowledge of the better life before living at the orphanage._

_The nights at the Skid Row Home for Boys were long and full of wonderful dreams. One night while lying awake in bed, Seymour was talking to his friends Alan and Nicholas, who slept in cots on either side of him. They were his best friends at the orphanage. It was strange, but Seymour almost felt as if they were like his family; like his brothers._

_"Do you guys ever wish you knew what your parents were like?" Seymour asked._

_Alan and Nicholas nodded._

_"Yeah. I hate the fact that I had to grow up without knowing why my parents had to give me up," Nicholas said_

_Alan nodded in agreement. "I wonder what my mom looked like. Ya know, like if she was pretty. I bet she was."_

_Seymour smiled. "I bet my mom was really pretty too."_

_"Do you guys ever think we'll get out of this crummy place?" Alan asked._

_"I hope we do. I would love to get out of this part of town… someday," Nicholas said, wistfully._

_Seymour nodded. "That's my biggest hope; that I'll get out of this orphanage and get adopted by a nice family. Start a whole new life."_

_"Boys, it's lights out. Time to be quiet," said Mr. Lawson, the headmaster of the orphanage._

_The boys did as they were told. Little did any of them know that the next day, Seymour's wish would come true._

_In the morning, a man came by to observe the children. Mr. Lawson had informed them that someone might be adopted today and become a flower shop apprentice of sorts. Most of the boys were excited at the idea, even if it meant that they had to work in their new home. Seymour was the most excited of all by the idea, since he had always rather liked plants and never had the resources to learn all about them in the home._

_By lunchtime, the man looking to adopt was getting closer to making his final decision. The boys noticed was getting a bit sweaty and impatient, but he wanted to make a good choice for his "junior employee". He stopped at Seymour's table and paid careful attention to Seymour who was helping to collect the trash and interacting with the rest of the kids as he helped to clean up. He did these things out of behavior, without question, which meant that he did not need to be told to work hard and that he would make a good salesperson._

_It did not take Mr. Mushnik very long to talk to the headmaster about adopting Seymour. Of course, he wanted to talk to the boy before taking him away, though he was sure that he would agree. Even his cruddy flower shop was better than this dump. Soon, Seymour was called to private corner of the home to speak to Mr. Lawson and Mr. Mushnik._

_"Seymour, Mr. Mushnik wants to adopt you," Mr. Lawson informed the wide-eyed Seymour._

_"-Adopt me? Really?" Seymour was shocked at what he was hearing._

_Mr. Mushnik smiled at the kid's enthusiasm. "Yes my boy. I want to adopt you. I think you could be a good asset to my shop someday." Then he turned to Mr. Lawson. "What papers do I need to sign?"_

"_Only general. For now you can just take him and get him settled. Seymour was a foundling and we've had the hardest time tracking down his birth parents." The look in his eye communicated the message, '_**_They might not even be alive anymore_**_,' to Mushnik without upsetting Seymour. "Whether or not we find anything else in the future, you can make it official."_

"_Fine," Mr. Mushnik replied. In a way, he liked that idea better. He would have an employee to tend to, not a son to provide for. That could be handy for stingy times that seemed to come up too often._

_"Seymour. Go to your room and start packing," Mr. Lawson ordered. "Mr. Mushnik will be back later to come pick you up."_

_"Yes sir!" _

_Seymour left with Mr. Mushnik that evening. He said a last goodbye to his friends Alan and Nicholas, who were very melancholy at his departure._

"_You guys can always come visit me at the store," Seymour said, trying to be hopeful._

_"Maybe. But still, it won't be the same," said Alan._

"_Come on, boy!" Mr. Mushnik called to Seymour with the door halfway open._

_Young Seymour's eyes widened and his heart leaped at the thought of a home beyond that door at last. "See ya, guys!" he said to his friends and practically ran to the front door._

_Despite the goodbyes, Seymour was dreadfully excited to leave. He could feel that there was so much of a future waiting for him. He had waited for all his life this moment. There was no stopping his dreams…_

With those memories of childhood fresh in his mind, Seymour knew what had to be done. He flurried over to his boss, yelling, "No, no, don't do it!"

Mushnik had one foot inside the plant already before he turned around. "What?"

Seymour saw that the plant's lower jaw was already beginning to close on the unsuspecting Mr. Mushnik and he took desperate action. He leaped and pulled Mr. Mushnik out of the plant's mouth crying, "Look out!"

They both hit the floor with a thud. In a moment, Mr. Mushnik was yelling at his employee.

"What's the idea, boy? You tell me to go take the money outta the plant and then you tackle me? Tryin' to get rid a' me now too? Just like that rotten dentist, eh? I'm not letting you get away with this…"

"B-but sir, look!" Seymour cried and pointed frantically to the giant plant. "It's alive!"

"Well, of course Audrey Two's alive! I mean it's-"

"No, Mr. Mushnik. It's going to eat you!" Seymour interrupted.

"Damn, so, the cat's outta the bag!" growled a low, booming voice from behind the two men.

Mr. Mushnik turned around slowly, and looked at the giant Audrey II that was tapping a vine on the floor at this point. "D-did it j-just t-talk, S-Seymour?" he yelped, shaking.

"Err, well…" Seymour started.

"Shut up, boy!" said the plant and turned to Mushnik. "Yeah, _it_ talks, ol' man."

Mushnik leaped back from the plant and trembled in realization of the threat the plant was. "It-it's not possible! Plants don't talk, _plants don't talk_…" After a minute or two, he finally turned to his employee with a terrified look in his eyes.

"Get me outta here, Seymour," he said almost inaudibly.

Seymour nodded and walked his boss out. He stayed by the old man to comfort him as he walked back home. They did not speak about what had happened or about the previous venture of going to the police station at all; they just left the place of evil in near silence. When Seymour returned to the shop later that night (since there was no where else for him to go back to), and listened to the hungry plant snore in the shop front, he could only think of one thing.

_At least you know now._


	2. Meeting Audrey

**How to Kill a Plant**

Seymour had a sleepless night. He could not erase the image in his mind of seeing Audrey II about to swallow up Mr. Mushnik. The fact that Audrey II fed on human blood was a huge problem. In the beginning, he had thought that it was totally harmless. It brought more revenue into the store, and that made Mr. Mushnik happy. With the knowledge of what Audrey II fed on, how on earth would Seymour continue to feed it? It was only a matter of time before it sucked the one person he truly loved away… maybe even by literally swallowing her whole. That person was the co-worker for which the plant was named; Audrey.

He remembered when he had told her how he felt. It had been after he had disposed of her horrible, sadistic boyfriend via Audrey II. He still was not sure if he had committed murder or had only been a witness to his death, but when he had been with her, everything felt just right…

_"Audrey what did the police officer say?"_

_She hesitated and dried her eyes. "He said while there is no evidence of foul play, there's still reason to be suspicious of Orin's death. They still need t' investigate."_

_"Why are you upset?"_

_"I'm not upset that he's missing. I actually wanted to break up with him for the longest time, but I feel like his disappearance was my fault."_

_He was quick to reply, "-But it wasn't."_

_"I still blame it on myself though."_

_" You don't need to, Audrey. There are so many other guys that could treat you with respect, unlike Orin."_

_"I know he's out there somewhere, Seymour. Just not on Skid Row."_

_Seymour paused and asked her something he'd been meaning to ask her for a long time. "What about me?"_

_"We're just friends Seymour," she replied and looked to him, surprised. "You're almost like a brother to me."_

_Before leaving her and heading back to work, Seymour was sure to add what his heart told him to say. "I love you Audrey." He was almost about to leave when he felt a tap on his shoulder and found Audrey standing beside him. _

_She smiled and said, "I love you too."_

Thinking of how much Audrey meant to him and how he knew they would have a great life together beyond the treachery of Skid Row made it become clearer to Seymour that he needed to do away with this monstrous plant… but how? He wasn't sure if it would be easier to destroy such a monstrous problem than it had been to create it.

The next morning, Mr. Mushnik arrived at the store early. He was still visibly shaken from the events of the previous night, having almost been eaten by a plant he had no idea could even have any appetite for human blood.

"Krelborn, are you up yet?"

Seymour rolled over and looked at his clock. Noticing what time it was, he immediately jumped out of bed.

"I am now sir… I'm on my way up."

When he reached the shop front, Seymour looked at his boss, at first not knowing what to say.

"Seymour, we need to have a talk… please come into the back room."

Seymour gulped and followed Mr. Mushnik. His boss was thinking deeply about his words at this point. He rubbed his knuckles against each other nervously, peeking out at the monster plant that he had a feeling was listening to them even now.

"Seymour, we have a problem on our hands."

"Yes, sir. I know."

Mushnik looked over to his employee, questioning. "How long have you known that Audrey Two fed on human blood?"

"Well, ever since you told me to work with it that first day I knew. I cut my finger and that's when I discovered how it liked blood." Seymour looked to his hands. "I'm sure you heard it speak last night… it spoke to me and told me to kill Orin."

"So you chopped him up and feed his remains to it?"

"Yes, sir."

Mr. Mushnik shook his head. "Seymour, I know you've worked long hours with this plant, but do realize what a danger to society it could be?"

"In the beginning I thought it would be totally harmless, but now…" He shuddered. "-yes I do sir."

"It's only a matter of time before it could hurt one of our customers," the old man said.

"I'm actually more concerned that it could ask me to kill Audrey next."

"-And you wouldn't want that to happen now would ya'?"

" No sir!" Seymour answered automatically.

Mr. Mushnik looked at his employee with a very serious look in eyes. "Seymour, we have no other choice than to kill Audrey Two."

Seymour nodded solemnly. "I know sir. But how can we do that? Audrey Two is not your typical weed as you can tell."

"We must figure out a creative way… aside from starving it."

There was silence between the two men after that. They knew that they had a lot of thinking to do ahead of them.


	3. Two Men

**Two Men's Thoughts.**

The days after that were troublesome for the two men at Mushnik and Son's Skid Row Florists. Mr. Mushnik was always wary of the bloodthirsty plant now. Seymour subdued some of the monster's hunger with meat and his own blood, but both of them knew that those tiny morsels would only sustain the hungry plant for so long.

Seymour had another dilemma along with the common threat to all of their lives. He knew that he would have to tell Audrey the truth about what had happened to her boyfriend. He wanted to be free of guilt, but also keep her safe from harm if the plant attacked her. But he was absolutely terrified of how she would react to the news. Would she hate him? And if he didn't tell her, would she reject him for lack of financial success?

The only things that kept the poor nerd going were saving Mushnik's life and his newfound romance with Audrey. The two were practically inseparable. Sometimes during work, the blonde would just smile at Seymour from across the room for a while and they'd both lose track of time. Reporters would bug Mr. Mushnik instead of Seymour when that happened, as even they could see that love was blooming in that shop just as much as the flowers.

Mr. Mushnik was already sick of the puppy-eyed employees, and it had only been for a day or two that they had been a couple.

At closing time each night, Audrey would say, "G'night, Seymour."

He'd reply, "Goodnight, Audrey." Then he would kiss her lips before she left out the door.

But the high of love would soon wear off, and Seymour would feel torn between his fears and his morals again. Once, Mr. Mushnik watched Seymour slink down into his basement room and simply hold his head in dismay.

For that one moment, Mushnik felt a rare pang of sympathy for the boy. What could it be like to have the entire world unraveling like this? Seymour had been lucky, but now his fortune was slipping through his fingers. Not to mention, the pressure and guilt from his actions had to be just enormous!

But then, just as quickly as it had appeared in the first place, Mushnik's sympathy ended.

_Why should you even care how that shmuck feels?_ he asked himself. _He almost tried to have you killed by a monster, and now you have to cover up what he did to the dentist. After all he messed up on, he deserves the hell he's getting!_

There was another fear that Mr. Mushnik had about Seymour that still lingered since the night of the attack. What if Seymour was leading him on to give him more time? What if Seymour actually had another trick up his sleeve? Could he really kill?

Mushnik tried to put that thought away. _Seymour's never been the dishonest type…_

Seymour and Audrey soon had their first big date. That night, Mushnik closed up the shop for Seymour. Just as he had closed the blinds, the thing began to talk to him.

"Feed me," Audrey II growled.

Mushnik tried to ignore the fear creeping up his spine from the voice of the vegetable demon. "You aren't getting any food from me, plant."

The plant made a pause, thinking, and snickered. "Don't you get it, Mushnik? Everything's workin' out ju-u-ust fine for your business as long as I'm around." The plant waited for the old man to stop pacing around to add, "You got the most successful lil' shop in town, and pretty soon, you could have it all! It's just too bad that Seymour's around to take away half the profit."

Mushnik raised an eyebrow and turned to face the plant. "Whadd'ya mean?"

"Don't you get how a partnership works? If Seymour were outta the picture, you'd get all this! The shop, the money, and _me_!" The plant paused to place a vine on Mushnik's shoulder like a supportive hand. "Doesn't that sound good to you?"

"Sure it would," Mushnik replied, "If you weren't implying that I kill my employee."

"If anyone deserves to die, it's that kid, right? Think about what he almost did to you!"

Mr. Mushnik sighed. "I don't know. It's not like I don't agree that the kid deserves some kind of punishment, but _kill_ him? I don't know, I'm not that kind a' guy."

"Then think on it, Mushnik. But remember, you're running outta time if you want me to live. I need some food, and fast!"

Mr. Mushnik nodded before locking the door and leaving for that night. "I'll think about it."

Seymour's fate ran through Mushnik's mind almost constantly after he had spoken to the plant. Could he really do it? How could he even fathom killing someone (let alone the employee he had known for more than ten years), for his own personal gain? He had lived a tough life, but he had morals…

Then again, how much did morals really matter in the face of wealth?

It was during lunch break the next day that Seymour came into Mushnik's office. The old florist was halfway through eating a liverwurst sandwich when the nerd tripped over his own shoelace.

"What d'ya want, _son_?" Mushnik asked, shaking his head at Seymour's absolute clumsiness.

Seymour righted himself, ignoring the comment about him being Mushnik's adopted son. "Nothin', I was just wondering if you found something…" He paused and looked at the food that his boss was eating. "That's it! Liverwurst!"

Mr. Mushnik smirked and looked at the sandwich. "You, um… you want some?"

"No, no! That's the way to stop-" He paused and looked out of the office, making sure that Audrey and especially Audrey II were not listening. "I'll tell you later, but I think I have a plan, sir."

Mr. Mushnik wrung his hands below his desk. He was still feeling guilty about his conversation with the plant and the thought of killing Seymour.

"For your sake, I hope you've found somethin', Krelborn."


	4. Do Plants Really Eat Human Blood?

**Do Plants Really Eat Human Blood?**

The very thought of plotting to kill Audrey II excited Seymour. He had been living with so much guilt about feeding Orin to it ever since the dreadful deed. As ready as he was ready to work on this task, it would be the hardest thing we would ever have to do in his life because he had worked so hard to nurture this plant. He had not expected it to turn into the bloodthirsty monster it had become.

He walked into Smedrick's Meat Shop where Al Smedrick, the owner, smiled. "Hey there Seymour. What can I do for you?"

Seymour always liked Mr. Smedrick and the warm atmosphere his store gave off. In the back of the store was a diner that was a popular hang out for locals where he frequented. It was part of home, but today was anything but a routine visit for lunch.

"'Morning, Mr. Smedrick." Seymour paused, thinking about how to approach his next question. "I was, er, wondering if you had any rotten meat you could give me."

Mr. Smedrick was confused by his customer's odd request. "Why don't you want fresh meat, my boy? Your income can't be hurting that bad now."

"This meat isn't for my consumption sir. I'm planning on killing-" He hesitated again and thought of something quick. "-I'm using it as rat bate."

The look on Mr. Smedrick's face changed from confusion to a nod of understanding. There were too many of the nasty rodents in this part of town. "Okay Seymour, whatever you want. Let me go out back and see what I have. How much would you like?"

"As much as you can give me sir. I want to kill this plant softly and slowly… I mean, we have lots of rats, and with the reporters and all… hehe." Seymour smacked his head at the near blunder. "_Nice, Krelborn. Nice_," he told himself.

Meanwhile, Mr Smedrick went to the meat freezer and came back later with the most outdated slab of meat he had available. He handed the wrapped meat over to Seymour. "That'll be Five-Twenty-Nine."

Seymour handed over the money gratefully. "Thank you sir."

"You're welcome, my boy. Have a great day."

When Seymour arrived at the shop, he went to the back room to store the meat in the refrigerator. He wrote in big letters on the bag: **DO NOT CONSUME! Rotted meat to be used for top secret purposes only.**

Just as Seymour was about to get back to work, Audrey walked into the back room to put her lunch away at that very moment. "Hi Seymour. What's in the bag?" she asked, making him jump a little.

"Meat," he replied.

Audrey looked at the writing on the front of the bag. "What "top secret purposes" are you usin' the rotten meat for?"

Seymour was silent for a few seconds then he let out a sigh. "To kill Audrey II.

Audrey was shocked. "Why would you want to kill Audrey Two? It's been bringin' in so much money to the store, Seymour!"

Seymour briefly put a hand over Audrey's mouth so that the plant would not hear her give away his plan. "Audrey, shh! Do you know what Audrey II feeds off of?" he almost whispered.

Audrey gave Seymour a look of concern for his odd behavior. "Yeah, plant food of course. What kind of plant doesn't eat plant food?"

Seymour looked at the floor uncomfortably. "Well... umm this one doesn't."

"What does it eat then?"

He hesitated once more. "Human blood."

Audrey was the next one to be silent. "Did you…. _kill_ Orin to feed him to the plant?" she finally said.

Seymour figured this question would be asked sooner or later, though he honestly never thought his girlfriend would guess about Orin's death so quickly. "No, I didn't kill him. He died of over-exposure to laughing gas. I did-" He swallowed a deep wad of spit, remembering and admitting his crime, "-I did dismember his body in order to feed it to the plant though."

There was mutual silence between the co-workers for about five minutes. Audrey tried to comprehend all that she had heard. She wondered if she should grieve over Orin, but there was just too much going through her mind to think of that.

"So, what's the rotten meat for?" she asked.

"Me and Mr. Musnik plan on feeding it to Audrey Two, bit by bit, in order to kill it off within a week," Seymour whispered particularly quiet.

"Is it really that dangerous?" she yelped.

"Yes, Audrey! It tried to eat Mr. Mushnik, but I saved him. We agreed that it would be better for everybody's safety if we killed the plant."

"Did you think… did you think it was going to try t' eat me next, Seymour?" she asked.

Seymour nodded with compassion. "I think that's what its ultimate plan was." He saw her eyes widen with fear and wrapped his arms around her. "-But I would never let anything bad happen to you."

Audrey smiled slowly and kissed Seymour's cheek. "You're always lookin' out for me, Seymour."

The lovers hugged then, despite all of the bizarre and terrible things that were at hand. They agreed to keep silent on the issue unless they were away from the plant where it would not hear. Realizing that the plant could speak was yet another thing for Audrey to process. With so many thoughts in her mind, Audrey could barely get any sleep that night. She tried to write out some things in her diary, but the thoughts were off-the-wall.

_Seymour said something about him saving Mr. Mushnik from being eaten by Audrey II. What does that mean?_

_As much as I want to believe his story of heroism, it sounds like something out of a bad dream. I can't really picture a plant being thirsty for human blood!_


	5. Web of Lies

**The Web of Lies**

After confessing the truth to Audrey about the plant, Seymour felt tremendous relief and fear at the same time. How long could he keep this secret from the public? If anyone else knew about the evil plant and the death of Orin, he would be arrested for sure and then it would be all over. He could hang even if they found him guilty of murder.

There were times when Seymour just wished that he could go to turn himself in, but he knew he could not. Mr. Mushnik needed his help if the plant was ever going to be defeated. He also knew that if the shop was going to stay afloat, he had to find something else to make the shop flourish after Audrey II's "sudden health decline". Finally, and most importantly, there was Audrey. He couldn't leave her behind with her own self esteem issues and a monster plant on the loose.

Mr. Mushnik had, meanwhile, been thinking over the Audrey II's grim offer. What it had said was true, in a sick way. If Seymour were out of the way, he would have the plant all to himself, and all the money that it would bring too. Besides that, ever since he had figured it out about Orin, Mushnik was very afraid of what Seymour could do. This made him even more verbally abusive toward his employee during business hours.

The next day, Seymour and Audrey were both working at light speed on arrangements in the back room when Mr. Mushnik barged in through the door, yelling. "Seymour, look at these lily stems! They're a whole inch off and the arrangement's ruined!"

Seymour acted normally and looked to the floor. "I-I'm sorry, sir. I musta' been workin' on something else too and mixed up the stem lengths. It was a dumb mistake."

"I'll say!" Mushnik continued raving, "Lilies aren't cheap. This'll cost us five dollars in wholesale greenery alone for your _dumb mistake_."

Seymour bit his lip and shut his eyes tight as his boss reprimanded him, but just as he was about to slink back to work, Audrey stood up from the workbench, stamping a heeled shoe on the ground.

"So what if he made a little mistake?" she said. "It's both of your flowa' shop, so you have no right t' talk to Seymour like that!"

"Audrey, don't-" Seymour started.

"No, _you_ don't," Audrey interrupted him. "I've had it with the way you treat Seymour, Mista' Mushnik! It' no wonda' that he decided t' do the terrible things he did when you always said he wasn't good enough!" Audrey paused. "No one should eva' think they're not good enough…"

As the blonde left the room to tend to the customers outside, the two men sat silently in the backroom, thinking about her words. Mr. Mushnik especially wondered if maybe the girl was right.

At closing time, Seymour and Audrey kissed goodnight before Audrey went home. Mr. Mushnik stayed to help Seymour sweep out back and noticed that the young man had a certain melancholy to him. That wasn't to be expected after he kissed Audrey, since Mushnik knew that the boy was hopelessly in love with her.

"What's eatin' yeh, boy?" he asked Seymour, who was sweeping side to side aloofly.

"It's her," Seymour said. "I wanna protect her from the plant more than all a' my life, but now I'm worried. What if we go broke after killing the plant?"

Mushnik shrugged. "I'll probably have to close the shop if we lose business."

"I'll be out of a job," Seymour muttered, but loud enough for Mr. Mushnik to hear. "And then I'll lose her. I'll lose everything!"

The older man paused and looked to Seymour quizzically. "What d'ya mean you'll lose her?"

"Well, I'm afraid Audrey won't want me if I lose my fame, sir. I mean, she didn't look twice at me until I got famous."

Mr. Mushnik tried to process what his employee had said before chuckling softly and finally laughing out loud.

"What's so funny, sir?" Seymour asked.

"It's you, son," Mushnik replied, still laughing. "Have you really not seen it all this time?"

"Seen what?"

"Seen how that girl is crazy about you too, boychik."

"What do you mean?" Seymour demanded.

Mr. Mushnik tried to contain his laughter. "I used to have to put up with you two staring at each other every day at work. It was either you or her who was all puppy-dog-eyed. The only reason she didn't get together with you was because of that no-good-nick dentist."

"Really?" Seymour said, with joyous hope.

"The truth is, Seymour, she wouldn't leave you even if you were a wino. I think she'd like it better if you two had some money to get outta here together, but I know she's stuck on you."

"Gee…" Seymour started, staring up at the sky.

Watching Seymour be so happy made Mushnik feel happy too, and he remembered what Audrey had said about how he treated the boy. He scratched at the back of his neck nervously before saying, "Listen, Seymour, I… I hope what Audrey was talkin' about today isn't true. I mean, you don't really think I mean all that I say, do ya?"

Seymour paused. "Well, if you don't mind me saying so…"

"-Yes?"

"Well, sir, sometimes I do take it personally. I mean, it's hard not to when your boss is also the person who-" Seymour swallowed then and said, "-the person who brought ya up."

Mushnik took a pause and realized what Seymour meant. He had always known that Seymour wished for a family (that was why the boy had agreed to the adoption so quickly), but he had never heard Seymour actually express that he was like a father to him. At that moment, Mushnik felt like the biggest schmuck on Skid Row, and he sighed.

"I've gotta be honest with you, Seymour. I only adopted you because I was afraid you'd leave and take the plant with you."

Seymour obtained his saddest expression and looked to the ground. "Oh."

Mushnik hesitated before adding, "But it doesn't mean I didn't _want_ to adopt you before, boy. The home couldn't find your parents for the adoption rights and they told me I didn't have time to make it official. I still, well, I sorta' thought a' you like…"

"-It's alright, sir. I understand," Seymour said.

"No, boychik, you _don't_ understand," Mushnik stopped him. "I've been real heartless to ya in the past, I know, but I guess I just never took time to appreciate you." Seymour looked up at him, puzzled, before he continued, "Not everyone woulda' saved me from that plant."

"I almost fed you to it in the first place," Seymour said.

"-But you didn't go through with it, and that's important." He briefly thought about his own conversation with the plant before getting back to the subject. "It takes guts to stand up to that monster."

"It was so harmless before… now-now I don't even know good from bad. But I couldn't let it eat the people I care about, sir."

The employer and his employee looked to each other with a smile for half a second then looked away awkwardly. Bonding or being friendly felt alien to the two men who hadn't been on the best of terms for so long.

"Well, I've gotta get back to feeding the plant," Seymour said, wincing at the thought of that monster draining blood from his fingers. What had once been only a small amount of feeding pains was now like having a limb removed.

"That's all right, Seymour. I'll just go and give the plant some meat from Shmendrik's place. Get some rest, boychik."

Seymour half smiled and went into the shop to his basement room for the night.

Mr. Mushnik did as he promised and bought more meat from Mr. Shmendrik, who questioned him about Seymour's strange order.

"We've got rats here, but that bad?"

Mushnik shrugged. "When Seymour gets an idea in his head, you can't get it out."

"You could just call an exterminator."

"I don't think you could stop _these_ kind of rats so easily."

Again, Shmendrik was puzzled by Mushnik's words, but he still handed over the order and bid Mr. Mushnik goodnight. As the florist left his shop that night, Shmendrik watched him closely before craftily following him back to the flower shop.

Mushnik almost immediately closed the blinds that night so that no one from the outside would see what he was doing. Al Shmedrik might have frowned upon the idea at first, but he decided that he would find a way to spy on the florist even now. He then remembered about a broken window Mr. Mushnik had been complaining over in the back room and hoped that it was still easy to break in.

_God, I'm really acting like a thief_, thought the diner owner as he took the hinges off the bad window with ease. He was just about into the back room when he heard a "click-clack" sound behind him.

"Mista' _Shmedrik_?" Audrey's voice squeaked incredulously, "What…why are you…"

"Audrey, shhh!" Al whispered. "It's hard to explain why I'm here, but I'm-well, I'm spying on your boss." He noticed Audrey's eyes were wide as lollipops at his words, but instead he changed the subject. "What are you doing here?"

"Um… kind a' the same reason. I didn't know you knew about the window too."

Shmendrik chuckled nervously. "It's a long story. Anyway, are you gonna help me or not?"

"Sure," Audrey said and helped Mr. Shmedrik break into the shop.

As they both listened in the dark of the back room, they both heard repetitive scuffling noises before a deep voice boomed, "_Feed me_!"

"Be quiet!" Mr. Mushnik ordered the voice. "D'ya want to wake up half the neighborhood?"

"If it'll get em' to be my lunch," replied the menacing voice.

"What the hell?" Mr. Shmendrik said before slowly creaking open the door. What he and the blonde saw was the Audrey II now facing Mushnik, pod agape, with a hundred razor sharp teeth showing in its mouth. And just when things were frightening enough, the plant spoke again as Mr. Mushnik brought forth its dinner.

"Beef again? I need somethin' better than that, Mushnik."

Mr. Mushnik frowned. "It's meat or starvation. Your choice."

"Mm…what about my offer? Look," the plant smiled and licked its jagged teeth, "-I can end it quickly for him. One bite and Seymour will be dead; no pain at all."

"No!" Audrey yelped at the thought of Seymour dead.

Al Shmendrik tried to comprehend what was going on, but it was just too much. All he could do was shove a hand over Audrey's mouth to keep her quiet so he could hear.

"Eat the meat or die. You can have Seymour later," Mushnik replied, not meaning his words. Little did he know that Audrey took them seriously.

The plant snickered. "You know that if I starve you and every other shop on Skid Row'll be in the gutter, and I don't mean the nightclub that blonde used to go to."

"Then eat the meat and help us, by all means," Mr. Mushnik said. "I know you can live off it."

Audrey II growled before taking the entire bag of meat into its pod and swallowing it whole. It was a horrific sight and Audrey screamed in shear terror. With that, the two spies knew that they had to flee before Mushnik caught them. Al and Audrey ran a few alleyways away, hoping that Mushnik would not pursue and caught their breath. Audrey cried to herself and let a sob escape.

"Audrey, calm down," Mr. Shmedrik finally said to her.

"Calm down? Calm down? Mista' Mushnik's gonna kill Seymour and feed him to the plant! All this 'workin' togetha' stuff is a lie and Seymour and I fell for it!"

"It just doesn't seem like 'ol Mushnik, but-" the diner owner sighed. "I hate to admit it, but you're probably right. Not to mention, even if they do kill this plant, my diner will be outta business."

"What should we do? Seymour could easily get hurt or-or _worse_!" Audrey squealed.

"Try to talk him out of it," Shmendrik said simply.

Audrey was somehow shocked by that idea, since she wanted that plant dead. However, maybe it was the only way. "I don't know sir. Seymour seems pretty dead set on killing that plant."

"I think we can attempt something."

Audrey wasn't so confident. "Okay, I'll talk to Seymour and you try to change Mushnik's mind."

"Sounds like a plan."


	6. Coming Clean

**Coming Clean**

**Disclaimer**: Neither Star's Snowflake nor I own the rights to any characters or settings from Little Shop of Horrors. The only character we have created on our own is Mr. Smederick.

Audrey was shaken by the scene she had seen with Mr. Smederick and couldn't believe that Mr. Mushnik would even consider feeding Seymour to Audrey II especially after how Seymour had saved his life. She took a day off from work because she felt she could not effectively focus on her tasks at work. The phone rang at about 2:30. Ronette was on the other end.

"Hey girl.. I stopped by the store at around noon to ask you if you wanted to go out tonight to go dancing. Are you doing alright?"

"Not really. However, I wouldn't mind going out tonight. It might help me get my mind off things."

"Why, did you and Seymour get in a fight or something?

"No, it's nothing like that. Mr. Smederick and I were spying on Mr. Mushnik last night when he was feeding Audrey II and he way saying something about feeding Seymour to it."

Ronette noticed by the tone on her friend's voice that she sounded somewhat hysterical and was shocked to hear about this allegation.

"Calm down Audrey, you're not thinking straight. You were probably imagining things."

"No, I wasn't imagining things. Mr. Smederick is my witness. He heard Mr. Mushnik say those awful things too. Seymour wasn't too off base when he said the plant fed off of human blood."

"So you weren't at work today because you didn't think you would be able to focus because you were too freaked out?"

"Yes."

"Are you going to talk to Seymour about it?"

"Yeah. Mr. Smederick said he'd talk to Mr. Mushnik about it too"

"Do you really think Mr. Mushnik would feed Seymour to Audrey II after how he saved his life?"

Audrey remembered Seymour telling the heroic story about how he had saved Mr. Mushnik from being eaten by the Audrey II.

"I honestly don't know if I can trust Mr. Mushnik. The whole plot of killing off the Audrey II seems strange to begin with"

"Well, talk to Seymour about it and then call me back or talk to me about it tonight."

"Okay. What time will you guys be picking me up?"

"Around 7."

"Okay see you then." Audrey hung up the phone. She was slightly less nervous about confronting Seymour about was bothering her now that she had talked to Ronette.

Ding Dong!

'I wonder who that could be.' Audrey thought.

As if by some ironic fate Seymour was at her door step.

"Hey . I missed you at work today. Are you alright?"

Audrey ushered her boyfriend inside. "Not really. We need to talk."

"Yes we do. About Audrey II."

Audrey felt as if Seymour read her every thought. "Can I get you some water?"

"Sure."

Audrey went into the kitchen and poured two classes of water.

"Audrey, I am having second thoughts about killing the Audrey II."

"How come?"

"Well as dangerous as it is to keep the plant alive. I feel it be more risky to kill it. I mean look at how good the store has been doing. We've been racking in the dough."

Audrey bristled.

"What about the safety of the general public? I thought you were concerned about that and about my safety too?"

Seymour had not intended to start a fight with his girlfriend. "Well yes, our safety is very important but so are our jobs."

"Which do you think is more important? Safety or money?"

Seymour was wondering where this conversation was going to lead.

"Why what's going on?"

Seymour noticed that Audrey had a very grim look on her face. She was silent for a good fifteen minutes while she gathered her thoughts. 

"Mr. Smederick and I were spying on Mr. Mushnik last night."

"Spying?"

"Yes. Spying"

And what exactly did you see or hear?"

"That Mr. Mushmik was going to feed you to Audrey II."

A wave of emotions came crashing down on Seymour. He didn't know which one to feel first.

"Are you positively sure he said that? Maybe you were imagining things."

Audrey could not believe that Seymour had the exact same reaction to this information as Ronette had and had even more trouble believing that her own boyfriend didn't seem to trust her.

"Mr. Smederick is my witness. He was standing there right next to me. Oh Seymour, what are we going to do? "

Seymour could see his girlfriend was in a state of emotional distress so he pulled her into his arms and rocked her.

"Audrey I know you're scared. I think I am too, but don't be afraid we'll get through this."

Seymour vowed to himself to straighten out this situation for Audrey's sake and his own even if it meant potentially losing his job.

The next morning on his way into work Mr. Mushnik stopped by Al Smederick's meat shop to replenish his supply of rotting meat. He couldn't believe his current supply was half gone already.

"Mornin Al. Came to get more meat to feed the plant with."

Mr. Smederick had a stone cold expression on his face.

"Oh really?"

"Yes really. You do know of Seymour's and my plan to demolish the Audrey II don't you?

"Yes I do and to be honest with you Gervais it is rather disturbing."

Mr. Mushnik looked back at his friend slightly confused.

"What do you mean disturbing?"

"Oh don't deny it. Audrey and I saw you feeding the plant and talking to it last night.. Don't act like you don't know anything."

Mr. Mushnik was shocked that his friend had admitted to spying.

"Why would you spy on me and better yet why would get one of my co-workers to spy on me?"

"To be blunt Gervias we did it because we're worried for the safety of the general public. Do realize how dangerous this plant really is?"

"Yes, why do you think me and Seymour are going to kill it?"

"Are the two of you really going to kill it together or you just going to kill Seymour off?"

Mr. Mushnik was appalled by this accusation.

"Why would I kill Seymour for? He's like my son."

"Is he really or is he more like your pawn to get more revenue for your store?"

Mr. Mushnik had not expected an argument. 'What a great way to start of a new work day.' He thought to himself. He was silent for about 10 minutes

"Well?" Mr. Smederick prodded.

Mr. Mushnik let out a frusturated sigh.

"I only meant what I said partially about feeding Seymour to the plant. I'm not sure I have enough heart to do that. After all he did save my life when the plant tried to eat me."

" Gervais, as your friend I think you should rethink wanting to kill Seymour. He's a good kid. Plus Audrey was really freaked out when she heard you say that."

Mr. Mushnik was too wrapped up in all this wanting to kill the plant and wanting to potentially kill Seymour that he didn't even think of they way Audrey would react.

"Was that why she wasn't at work yesterday?"

"That's exactly why she wasn't at work yesterday."

"Do you think I should talk to her?"

"I think you should talk to Seymour first."

"Alright. Am I getting my meat or what?"

"I'm not giving you anything until you thoroughly think out what you're going to do. I honestly do not think you are thinking clearly."

Mr. Mushnik left the meat shop without responding.

When Mr. Mushnik got to the store. No customers were there. He found Seymour in the back room doing inventory.

"Morning Mr. Mushnik."

"Good Morning Seymour."

Seymour was silent as he gathered his thoughts. He was afraid to face his boss and even more afraid to find out if Audrey's accusations were true.

"Boychick, we need to talk."

"Yes we do sir."

Seymour did not look as cheery as he usually did when he came to work.

Before Mr. Mushnik could say anything Seymour dropped a bombshell.

Mr. Mushnik, is it true that you told Audrey II you were going to feed me to it? Audrey talked about this yesterday when I went over her house after work."

Mr. Mushnik looked incredibly uneasy.

"Yes my boy, I did say that to the plant but I said it out of haste and do not know if I sincerely meant it."

Seymour was surprised by his boss's admission. The man who had been like a father to him for so long and to Audrey too was a liar.

"Why would you even consider doing that? Especially after I saved you from being eaten by Audrey II."

"As I said I said it out of haste and perhaps should have said that anything at all."

"Mr Mushnik do you really consider me to be your son?"

"Yes my boy. That is proven in the adoption papers."

"Are you sure you're not using me as a pawn to make more money for your store?"

This was something new Mr. Mushnik had never considered.. though Mr. Smederick had asked him the same thing not long before. He was silent. His eyes met Seymour's for the first time since the conversation started. He noticed they were filled with tears.

"I do admit … before the adoption papers were signed I was a bit money hungry and perhaps I still am but know deep down inside that I really do love you."

Seymour was silent unable to fully trust what Mr. Mushnik was saying to him,


	7. Father and Son

**Father and Son**

**How To Kill A Plant Chapter 7**

Both Seymour and Mr. Mushnik knew that time was of the essence in this plan, but it was quickly slipping away. They had tried to be sneaky and avoid the confrontation of their friends, but ultimately the secret of the plant was becoming at large, and now they were less trusted than ever on Skid Row. This was especially true for Mushnik and what Audrey and Seymour believed he was doing. He had tried to apologize to Seymour and Audrey after the confusion, but the blonde was in no mood for apologies and didn't show up to work for two more days.

"I don't unda'stand why you're stayin' there, Seymour," she said to Seymour one night while he was at her apartment. "You're in terrible danga'. It's time to move on, don't ya think?"

Seymour was thinking a little more clearly about things and was far less angry at his boss for the supposed bargain with Audrey II. After all, both Mushnik and Audrey seemed sincere about their stories, and Seymour could not decide whether to listen more to his "father" or his lover for things like this.

"Well, Audrey, I'm gonna take that chance. If we do finish off that plant, it'll finally be the end of it."

Audrey's eyes glowed as she thought of an idea. "Wait, what if you and me… we could take the money and get outta here? We'll leave all a' this behind us and-and start a new life togetha'." She looked into his eyes as she said this. "Oh, Seymour, wouldn't that be wonda'ful?"

Seymour felt happy, yet heartbroken as Audrey said this to him. She wanted to keep him safe and live out her dreams with him. What man could turn down such an offer?

"I'm sorry, Audrey. I'm not goin' anywhere until this plant is destroyed. I got us into this, and I'm the one t' get us out."

Audrey frowned, but reached out and held Seymour's hand in her own. "Then don't do this on your own. I'll be watchin' your back, always."

Seymour felt like kissing her then and there, but let something slip off his tongue instead. "If I survive this, will you marry me?"

Audrey beamed and hugged Seymour tight. "Oh Seymour, I will! I will! I do, I do, I do!" she squeaked.

And as Audrey nearly crushed the little nerd with her tight hug, Seymour could not have felt happier. He had to destroy the plant, not only for his morality, but for her. Whether Mr. Mushnik was loyal to him or not was no problem. He would always have her on his side, and he would do anything for her.

Reporters were now discouraged from visiting the little flower shop on Skid Row. The place was something of a dump judging by how it was kept these days. While they still wanted information on the new breed of plant, no one wanted to visit a flower shop perfumed with the smell of rotten meat. Everyone that worked there was also just a bit jumpy and odd, and locals were talking about some sort of bad business going on behind the curtain. But by far the most disturbing thing about the shop was the plant itself. Audrey II, once the gigantic, colorful plant, was now a faded, drooping mass of greenery. When questioned about the plant's condition, Seymour Krelborn would simply say that its health was mysteriously slipping and that he could find nothing that would help the new plant to thrive.

And all of this steady starvation was taking its toll on the usually calm, predatory plant. Without true food for so long, Audrey II knew its days were numbered. Soon, fear turned into rage, and rage turned into blind hunger. Once or twice, the plant almost snapped at Seymour and Audrey, but restrained its starving need. On top of that, something in the plant's vines told it that it was ill.

The following Tuesday night, the plant opened its pod to be fed, praying for blood rather than that nasty beef it had been forced to eat. When it smelled the meat, the plant turned away from the offering and barred its teeth.

"I ain't eatin' more a'_ that_."

Seymour took a long breath to control he fear he had for the plant and retorted, "Then starve, damn it! I don't care anymore, and neither does Mr. Mushnik."

"Feed me!" the monster shrieked at the top of its voice, making the walls shake with the sound. "I'm dyin', Krelborn, and you're just gonna let it go? Like you had this all planned or…wait a minute."

It all made sense to the plant now. It was sick, poisoned from eating the foul beef for so long. Who knew how much damage had already caused to its body, and now to figure it out too late? This was not how the alien was going to go down. It smelled the old man Mushnik walking into the room to take a look just before it broke out of its flower pot and stretched its pod toward Seymour.

"Oh my God!" Mushnik and Seymour both exclaimed, stuck in a terrified pose as the monster crawled toward them.

"So, you wanna try and mess with me, boys? Well, the mean green motha' ain't taking this no more! You wanted a battle, and now you're gonna get a war!" the green villain yelled and snapped at the two of them.

The men yelped and tried to avoid the plant that was now moving entirely on its own accord. They ran through the tiny store, hiding behind the counter and various pots, trying to reach the door, but vines and ferocious plant blocked their way. They both reached the back supply wall and Seymour hit his head on a shelf, sending several items crashing down on them. Mushnik managed to avoid both the objects and the oncoming monster by rolling away, but Seymour was momentarily recovering from hitting his head and was soon cornered by the monster. By the time the young man came back to his senses, the creature had him entangled in its tendrils.

"Bye-bye, Seymour!" the plant said with a cackle, drawing him ever closer to it's mouth.

Seymour could do nothing. "Help! Help me, please…Dad, help me!" he cried.

"Seymour!" Mr. Mushnik cried out, then suddenly found something beside him. Seymour had knocked a machete onto the floor. It would be a long shot, but the old man knew he had to try for Seymour…his son.

Waiting for the end, Seymour closed his eyes, hoping that mechanical digestion would be less painful than he expected it to be. When he heard the sound of Mushnik's yell though, he opened his eyes to see him charging head first into the monster's pod, a machete at his side.

"Dad, no!" Seymour yelped, but it was too late to stop him.

Upon contact with the plant's lip, the knife made a deep gash. The monster let go of Seymour and closed its mouth around Mushnik, trying to chew on him or at least make him stop cutting. The vines of the plant twitched wildly as it gurgled sap from the old man cutting away at the weakened recesses of its throat. All the while, Seymour could barely see Mr. Mushnik and hoped that he would be able to finish off the plant fiend.

Suddenly, the plant stopped moving and hit the floor, but a smile slowly crept up its lips. Seymour knew then that his father had been eaten and it was too late. He (and anyone else this monster encountered) would be eaten…

And then the machete pierced the plant's thick stalk before ripping its pod off altogether. The creature shrieked one long time before Seymour took a shovel from the back room and decisively drove it deep into the plant's pod, silencing it once and for all.

The triumph over Audrey II was nothing compared to Seymour's fear that Mushnik was dead. He cautiously approached the gash in the monster's stem and found Mr. Mushnik sprawled halfway out of the creature, still as death.

"Sir? Sir?" Seymour said, trying to wake his boss as he removed him from the plant. "Dad, speak t' me!"

Just when all seemed lost, Seymour heard Mr. Mushnik groan before sitting up carefully. Seymour hugged him then, far too tightly.

"You're alive! I thought you were a goner, dad."

"Well, I'm _gonna_ be dead if you don't let go a me, boychick," Mr. Mushnik grumbled and took a few long breaths. "_That_ was the most disgusting thing I've ever done in my life, and I used to clean sewers!"

Seymour half laughed, but noticed that Mr. Mushnik was bleeding from a few gashes left from the plant's teeth. "Dad, we need to go to the doctor. You're hurt pretty bad."

"And what do we tell them this is from?" he asked critically.

Seymour thought about that before answering, "Skid Row animal mauling again."

Mushnik shook his head, but leaned on his son for support. "I'll take it."

When Seymour came back to the shop very early that morning to clean up the remains of the plant, Audrey was already on the scene to meet him. She said not a word at first, but wrapped her arms around his shoulders, never wanting to let him go, before gently kissing him.

He began to tell her the story of the night's events, and she listened carefully, only asking one or two questions throughout. Finally, Seymour told Audrey that Mr. Mushnik had to be treated at the hospital and that was why he had been gone for so long.

"Is Mista' Mushnik-I mean, your dad, gonna be okay?" she squeaked.

Seymour turned to his lover and gave his love a smile. "I think he is, Audrey. I really do."


	8. Epilouge

**Epilogue**

**How To Kill A Plant Chapter 8**

**Note**: We'd like to thank HermoineLennon for giving us suggestions to how to improve this fic. We thank her and everyone else who has been reading for reading and hope you enjoyed it. This chapter will mostly summarize the end of the story and will have no dialogue in it. One final disclaimer We don't own any characters or settings from Little Shop Janine and Star's Snowflake ** Addditonal Note from Janine**: This will be one of my last Little Shop fics for quite awhile. I have grown quite bored with writing fics about Little Shop and am ready to move on to write about other musicals. The only fics I will work on from now on about Little Shop will be Skid Row Beginnings and the collaborative effort with HermoineLennon which has yet to be titled if that ever gets started. Take your time to enjoy and comment on some of my other fics.

In the weeks that followed the destruction of the Audrey II the press slowly began to retreat from crowding the general premises of the flower shop. This was a great relief to Seymour, Audrey and Mr, Mushnik as they felt the constraint intrusion of the press and the public's obsession with the plant was quite a distraction from running the store efficiently. Seymour kept his promise to Audrey about getting married and they eventually moved off Skid Row and opened their own flower shop in a neighboring suburb of Audrey's hometown on Long Island. They would eventually have three children twins Erica and Erin and Son Seymour Jr. Mr. Mushnik would later close down his Skid Row flower shop and move to another location due to Skid Row being so ravaged with crime.


End file.
